Monday, September 10, 2012


I promised I would start the letter writing process so here goes.


My Dearest and Oldest Friend,

I won't lie, I struggled and grudgingly gave you this title, why? Well there have been so many unspoken words, things we have swept under the rug, but the more I struggled to fit somebody else into that slot, the more it is naturally you...It has always been you.

I have this huge smile on my face from thinking about our times together. Thirteen years feel like yesterday, and you stole my heart. You were no Morris Chestnut, no Craig David that I proclaimed would marry, but you managed to do it.

I remember vividly the day you came to my house, accompanied by our friends who were on a quest to match me up with your best friend, how Ironic that I had eyes for only you. And in true Zena style, we fought on your second visit, where you learnt I wasn't the chubby to mess with.

Your visits became steady, every Saturday I waited for you, it became the highlight of my week, I would even miss important social events just for you. When I moved to America, I cried the most for you. You cannot imagine my elation when you moved to the states as well.

We shared everything, you're attempted suicide, our kids names, my failed relationship, the difficulties with my mother, we comforted each other, prayed and we grew, Then you found God.

Our God is awesome, yes HE is, but God took you away from me...I couldn't talk with you, without your fanaticism kicking in. Who was this person? I didn't recognize you. Where was my fifteen year old boy who I adored? Your mother asked me what happened to her son, your brothers, friends all asked me where their friend was... I didn't know the answer.

The last straw that broke the camels back happened when my brother died, I called, you wouldn't answer, I tried to tell you and your words were " I cannot do this now, I cannot be there for you" Devastation, hurt, anger. We didn't speak for 2 years. I was angry with you, but I missed you. Things would happen and I would dial your number before I could stop myself. 

I tried to teach my heart HATE, it wouldn't work, hearing your name alone made my heart flutter.

Things will never be the same, but I want to say Thank-you. I was at my happiest with you, I learnt true love from you, My Chelsea obsession, my love for Craig David's "Born to Do it", it all comes from you, I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for you. And for that, I say Thank-you. We're all grown up, I hope life treats you kind, I wish you love, peace, good health and happiness.

Love you,


'Lara said...

This is so beautiful...I hope you both are back to been friends.

iNyamu(FQ) said...

Lovely... It's amazing how we drift apart from those we were so close to.

Still trying to figure if i have the stamina to start and finish this challenge.

Parakeet said...

The yoruba saying that 20 friends cant be friends for 20years comes to mind. But you have the memories and the gratitude which are both above all else.

Zena said...

Sort of, sort of not, when we remember we exist, one calls the other

You should totally do it!!! I encourage you to make it your own

Sister, e don tey ooh!!! Off to yours now!

Kitten said...

Heartfelt and beautiful. Here's to hoping life brings you back together.

Zena said...

Thank you very much Kitten, I appreciate that

Queen of My Castle said...

This seems like a cool idea. Don't know if I have the discipline to do this, though.

In regards to the post, I am a firm believer that things happen the way they are supposed to when you are in His will.

Zena said...


Yes, I's convincing yourself that's the problem!!

sab7al5air said...

This is so touching being able to put it down in words m not sure i could do the same but loved the idea.
Enjoyed being here
Stay well

Atary said...

Fantastic letters. Hope you'll complete the challenge soon.