A Hello of some sort

I've been feeling a pull...... Like I need to come back here, is that crazy?

What I've Been Reading...Currently Reading

Hey All!

Anyone who knows me knows one of the things that bring me joy is books... Since I'm at a point where I'm not too busy, I've been going through books like water. I thank my local library for that, because I don't buy books unless I really like them.. So here are a few titles I've read.

Currently Reading:
1. On Black Sisters Street- Chika Unigwe

Just Finished:
A bit of Difference- Sefi Atta

Wife of the Gods- Kwei Quartey

The Sins of the Father- Jeffrey Archer.

I've been waiting to get my hands on There was a Country by Chinua Achebe, So I picked up the Unigwe book whilst waiting. There's a list of books I've read on the side of the page.. Need to update that.

I'm also currently listening to this amazing singer Laura Mvulu

Her voice is pure Heaven. I'll leave you to judge.

Well, Have a beautiful weekend guys!

Peace and Blessings

KOKOMA

Back In my young days, I could move. Gravity and my extra tires are working against me these days. But I still kill it on the dance floor.

I'm sure I'm responsible for 95% of the video views.

Couldn't have said it any better

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life…” — Elizabeth Gilbert




Mood: I am currently loving love and hating love at the same time...You would think I was 21.

LETTER WRITING CHALLENGE WEEK 6 : A STRANGER

Hello All,

Life caught up with me. I have been very busy but I promise to make up the weeks I missed, I won't lie when I say these challenges are difficult (obviously they're called challenges) I tried unsuccessfully to write a letter to my parents and I broke down in tears for 2 days.. In writing these letters, I'm finding I have to admit things to myself and its not pretty, but enough chatter. Let's get on with it.

Dear Stranger,

It is funny how I'm told to write a letter to a stranger and your face immediately takes form. When I was among the living and not in this state of lethargy and weakness, we saw each other every Tuesday and Thursday at 7 pm sharp. You would hop on the 2 train heading to Brooklyn and my ogling you would begin. You looked like you came straight off the pages of Italian vogue and if you noticed, you didn't show it, I digress.

The reason I'm writing you is to ask for a favor. Maybe you can help me. You see the beneficial part about writing to a stranger is well, no one sees it. I go my way you go yours, its perfect. So back to asking for your help, Will you listen to me? You see in my life, I am the vessel where everyone pours into, and when I try to do the same, It feels like I'm speaking a foreign language, So I'm hoping you're fluent in Zena.

I don't think I noticed it until someone said it. I've become defensive,  hard, aggressive. I wake up, drag the day and pray for night to come. I was addressed the other day as a woman, I cringed because I am a woman, but I don't feel ready to wear that cloak yet. I am failing and flailing at this thing called life and it is a sad sight. People say you should never have regrets, but I regret everything.

I see you are rolling your eyes right now, "Do something"! I can hear your thoughts and your expression right now is well unsettling... I will say thank you for listening, I won't start to sound like a broken record. Thank you for listening,

Thank you for your time,

Zena.

LETTER WRITING CHALLENGE WEEK 2 — Your Crush

 Dear Mr Benny Bing,

I've had a crush on you since.....well since. Your smile, that body, your intellect, Allow me to paraphrase Darius Lovehall and believe me when I say,

"Say Mr Bing, can I be your slave? I’ve got to admit boy, you’re the shit boy….and I’m digging you like a grave. Now do they call you, Son of a spinning pulsar , or maybe King of a thousand dreams? Black Adonis,  that smile you put on my face child oooh! Who am I? It’s not important. Shit! I’ll be whoever or whatever you say"

THE BEGINNING: THE LETTER WRITING CHALLENGE

I promised I would start the letter writing process so here goes.

CHALLENGE WEEK 1: YOUR BEST FRIEND

My Dearest and Oldest Friend,

I won't lie, I struggled and grudgingly gave you this title, why? Well there have been so many unspoken words, things we have swept under the rug, but the more I struggled to fit somebody else into that slot, the more it is naturally you...It has always been you.

I have this huge smile on my face from thinking about our times together. Thirteen years feel like yesterday, and you stole my heart. You were no Morris Chestnut, no Craig David that I proclaimed would marry, but you managed to do it.

I remember vividly the day you came to my house, accompanied by our friends who were on a quest to match me up with your best friend, how Ironic that I had eyes for only you. And in true Zena style, we fought on your second visit, where you learnt I wasn't the chubby to mess with.

Your visits became steady, every Saturday I waited for you, it became the highlight of my week, I would even miss important social events just for you. When I moved to America, I cried the most for you. You cannot imagine my elation when you moved to the states as well.

We shared everything, you're attempted suicide, our kids names, my failed relationship, the difficulties with my mother, we comforted each other, prayed and we grew, Then you found God.

Our God is awesome, yes HE is, but God took you away from me...I couldn't talk with you, without your fanaticism kicking in. Who was this person? I didn't recognize you. Where was my fifteen year old boy who I adored? Your mother asked me what happened to her son, your brothers, friends all asked me where their friend was... I didn't know the answer.

The last straw that broke the camels back happened when my brother died, I called, you wouldn't answer, I tried to tell you and your words were " I cannot do this now, I cannot be there for you" Devastation, hurt, anger. We didn't speak for 2 years. I was angry with you, but I missed you. Things would happen and I would dial your number before I could stop myself. 

I tried to teach my heart HATE, it wouldn't work, hearing your name alone made my heart flutter.

Things will never be the same, but I want to say Thank-you. I was at my happiest with you, I learnt true love from you, My Chelsea obsession, my love for Craig David's "Born to Do it", it all comes from you, I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for you. And for that, I say Thank-you. We're all grown up, I hope life treats you kind, I wish you love, peace, good health and happiness.

Love you,

           

                       Zena

And She Keeps coming back

Yes!

I'm back, I'll be honest, the thought of looking at that there post below, made me cringe!!!! I've fought with deleting it, but I won't, I'll just simply move on.

So, in an effort to try and blog more, I'll do the The 30 Day Letter Challenge, that I stumbled on in Bassey Ikpi's tumblr. You write a letter everyday to someone... I don't know if I'll be able to do one a day, but I will write to each and every single person it says too. I'll put the list up for anyone who wants to participate. They might be more fictitious, some based on reality, so wish me luck!!

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Saying Hello

I believe I'm getting over my hiccups, but Helloo!!!! Is there anyone home?

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG? THAT IS THE QUESTION

It has been exactly two years since my brother died. Where has the time gone? My niece is an old sage trapped in a baby's body and my nephew? He's what you would call a fine boy, a handsome bobo complete with a dimpled smile and puppy dog eyes. He's a heart-breaker alright, and I love him to bits. Talk about someone loving you completely, its pure magic.

My sister is coping and we give thanks to God for that. And I? I'm still as lost as I was from day one. It has been two years and I cannot tell you what I have done with my time. Ironically, I'm still battling with the same things. I started sprawlings because I needed an outlet for things I had bottled up for years, and now I need that therapeutic release once more, and what better way to do it than embarrass myself on the world wide web.

Here's to more sprawlings

Decisions

And for the only 3 people that still check the blog, it is with a heavy heart that I say Goodbye. I should've done this a long time ago, but I kept prolonging it, wishing that the magic would come back to me. I'll leave this up for a week, but after that...... I might appear again, but for now...

Love you guys

Zena and I

Source

The Other one, the one called Zena is the one things never happen to/happen to. She is the one I walk through the day and stop for a moment, and stare at the reflection, not recognizing. The one who goes through the motions of the day. I know Zena from old pictures and stories recounted from old acquaintances and family. The one with the name attached to countless books and tales. I like books, the prose of Soyinka, the pull of Sade's voice, the pretty things. She shares this with me, but in a more passionate way, the way I can never openly do. It would be a fallacy to say there isn't tension or hostility. I live, walk as life passes me by, while Zena fights for her freedom.

It is shameful to confess she has achieved nothing. Words from people rather than us cannot change what is. I've contemplated the idea of letting her out, of giving everything to her, even though she might ruffle a few feathers and complicate things.

Alas! I might remain in Zena, it is sad though...I recognize this one less and less. I do not know which one of us has written this, Zena or I.

The Exotic Lover- The New-York Metro Series

Hey All,

How'z everything going? I'm a little better now, Thanks sooo much for all the well wishes, but I'm still coughing up a storm...Does anyone have any remedies I can take? because coughing for 3 weeks is very uncool, especially when you're sitting next to that hottie from your political science class who you've been dying to sit next to. Picture this, he asked me a question and guess my answer...guess...coughing right into his face...Embarrassing things happen to me all the time *sigh*. Moving on, Finals and the whole studying thing is kicking my ass and badly. I'm pretty sure of all my classes except a black studies class, that woman has a personal vendetta against me...We were 85 in the class and now we're 12...I should've dropped the class when I had the chance, its to late now and quite frankly, I don't care what I get...for the first time, I'm just like "DAMN IT".

The lot of you are going to Nigeria...I'll try to keep the bitterness out the post, but does anyone want to buy me TomTom? I hope you have a good trip and please take lots and lots of pictures.

Now, to the post.I promised to post this, and you know how it is when you don't write a post when it happens, it looses all it's funninity(not a word)

So....

Location:96st Train Station
Time: 6:50pm
Heading To: Nevins Street
Line:3 Train Line

So its another day. I've been out the apartment since 6:30 am and I'm dead tired. I stood all the way from 137st, and I was ready to fight anyone, even a Reverend Sister for somewhere to sit. So the 3 train approaches and I am uber excited, I run to the front of the train and notice there are empty seats in the second cart towards the back(yes, I'm that good). So the train stops and I and my sister notice there are a lot of empty seats and a lot of people standing. So I sit on the chairs near the door. I'm so happy, I see grins on peoples face and I'm like okay, what's up?But I put my Ipod on and close my eyes. All of a sudden, I hear

"Damn Cunt, Wha'd rassclad you think dis is"

Oh!boy, a mad Jamaican on the loose, I spot the man on the first seat where all the empty seats are and he seems to be addressing a woman with her biracial children.

"D nasty cunt a bring 'im devil pikni ina d tryain, Wha wrong with she own kind? She na fit find na man wey fit beat dat cyat"

At this point, I'm appalled beyond reason, but nobody says anything..

"Tell 'ar fi cum taste me a cock, I'll show her how it's done"
"Mek me spit in dat cyat, bust it up"

He brings out a bottle of whisky finishes it in one go, throws it on the floor and brings out another one, there's spit flying, white people turning pink and general laughter...The woman gets off at 42nd street, but the ass continues

"All these damn women, cyan handle me cock, dem not no say me cyan set that pussy on fire, me a ride dat pussy fi done.....yes....dis not no ass cock, dis a cock like a horse, a big strong horse.

He addresses this white woman who is sitting next to him,
"A bloodclot woman, ya wan fit take a ride on top the bull, you wan try to ride this horse, I'll kill ya, I murder your ass, yes"

Mehn! come see ooh! me I never see this kain thing before, as in it was horrible, then he starts to spit, just spit flying everywhere, Ask me why I didn't get up and leave that cart..I Stayed ooh!

The spit now flew to one mans shoe, he started cursing
"Motherfucker, Ima beat your stank fucking ass, if you spit near ma motherfucking shoe ya hear, damn nigga, what the fuck u think dis is, try dat shit again son, Ima murder yo' ass, Ima murder you..punk ass mutherfucker"

The madman cooled down small, but kept spitting in the other direction, you don't know how happy I was when my stop came finally, it was horrible. The man started commenting on women's breast..it was horrible.

So that's one of the craziest rides I've ever been on.lmao

I got tired of reading Wednesday night and for the first time, I read Jaybabe's blog, as in where am I? There are these fascinating blogs that I've missed that've been around for ages. Do you know I don't read real books like I used to, why? when I can log in and read Queen, NDQ, Overwhelmed, XSN,I want humor, I can get it, Drama I can get it...You know I said one hour break and I was on blogsville till 12:30 at night? It's addictive this place.

So...guess who's back on Blogsville? BITCHY!!!!! Well, she's not bitchy anymore, She goes by Ms Piggy, she's moved back home and she's still as fascinating and intimidatingly fabulous as she was before, so here's Lagos Island Iced Tea. Makes you want to move back home and partake in all the enjoyment. She's still sporadic, but A for effort

So on that note, any note worthy blogs you want to lead me too? List them.....

The Beginning Of the Vibrators

Hey Y'all

I still did not get the laptop ooh so darklecee continue praying ooh!lol

I had this whole post planned out and then blogger did something to it and I lost it, gone forever, all the stuff I wanted to say, just gone.

It's love, it's love every time I think about your smile, Every time I need you by my side you will ever be, cos you are the light that shines and I want the world to see, cos you are the light shines

That songs been In my head for awhile now, thought I'd share it with you, Common is so sick with his lyrics, and Marsha Ambrosius's voice is a dream. I might do a TGIF Post since TLK has taken a little break, hehehehe

Okay, So I read any and everything and I took this Women In Literature class during my freshman year and I had this wacky professor who just spat out facts and things and she mentioned it once but it was too wild for me to believe her until sometime last week when I was doing research for a friend.

Do you know that Hysteria was once considered a woman's only disease. Men were just to "calm headed" and "rational" to get it.

So hysteria had a a wide array of symptoms including insomnia, nervousness, heaviness in abdomen, shortness of breath and irritability. Basically, a woman didn't get her way, complained or just didn't conform was stamped with the hysteria bug.

So guess the cure or what was used to relieve hysteria...just guess. A pelvis massage yes people masturbation until climax. (As in maybe I'm the only one, but this is offensive ooh!see this people....it's masturbation that will make me keep quiet)

Ancient Greek myth tells of the uterus wandering about a woman's body and strangling her( hysteria is the Greek word for uterus y'all)
It was noted in virgins, nuns, widows and married women. The prescription, if married, intercourse, if single a vaginal massage.

The very funny part, Physicians who performed the vaginal massage got tired because it took up to three sometimes four hours for women to climax. So mid-wives were called to the scene( you know that whole thing about lesbians being better lovers for women than men can actually hold ground ooh!, they were doing something right)

So Physicians started loosing money. The solution? massage devices, yup!!!dildos and the likes. By the mid 19Th century it was common and normal, you could get the devices from your physician.

By I873, the electrical vibrator was invented in France (oui, oui liberation, lmao) By the 20th Century, every woman owned a vibrator, it was common practice and was quite the norm.

What makes me laugh is, women today hide their vibrators, it's taboo to actually just bring it out in the open(not that you should display it in your living room sha)

So that's it folks. What do you think?